Can you offer some constructive criticism for my poem "Slant/Fragility"?

Uh, well, it's descriptive. It's , uh, got some rhymes. That's good. Not many rhyming poems these days. I don't know why they stopped rhyming poems, they musta ran outta good words. Or brains. This poem reminds me of someone else's style, but I can't remember who. Well, I would say the creativity is there, now write something earth-shattering and new.