Help!? my bf has performance anxiety, advice please?

my boyfriend and i are both virgins at the start of our relationship everything was fine, he got hard just from kissing me and we had oral sex now and again and even tried dry humping. We where about to have sex for our first time but things got a bit awkward with the condom by the time we got everything sorted he wasn't aroused anymore. I shrugged it off of course and we tried again he held up a soggy used condom each time to tell me it had fallen off... we had only brought two to mine.. so we where... FOOKED. Anyway after that we where kissing and he was solid and then we started dry humping for a while and i asked him if he wanted to do it.. he hesitated a for a few long seconds then said are you ready? i nodded with a little smile and he smiled back he rolled over then said hes starting to go floppy i used my hand and he went hard but when i asked him if hes ready he seemed to slowly get softer and he just wouldn't go hard. He assured me that hes ready he was really angry and frustrated with himself and he i told him we don't have to have sex, better to wait till im on the pill anyway since then things have gone from bad to worse he doesn't even like to be touched down there he pushes my hand away saying no point in trying and says "im hopeless" and other horrible things i held him and told him to shut up and stop saying that because i love him and im not bothered about sex and he just needs to relax hes worrying about it all too much. He doesn't even want to try anymore its so frustrating i tell him "i cant miss what i haven't had" and stuff when he says hes sorry because i wanted sex and stuff. i try my best to tell him it doesn't matter but... we cant even do other stuff to pleasure him now because he is so worried he wont get hard. I made it worse because i thought i was the problem with all the lies and excuses he made each time i thought he wasn't sexually attracted to me and i was a complete turn off or something he made excuses about why he wasn't hard he eventually told me he was worried he would be crap and now hes worried he will never get hard so it makes even foreplay non existent... but he was aroused by other things in the past i try my best to pretend its not a problem but its so much worse if we cant even have foreplay! will someone give me some advice please its gonna tear us apart and i love him so much but hes becoming so miserable over it and its torture to see him like this. id very much appreciate your advice. sorry about the big novel!